A Sh*t Show called Grief

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  1. A Friend

    September 24th, 2016 at 3:05 am

    I often struggle, as I think most do, to respond to people going through a process of profound loss and grief. What can I say, how can I respond in a way that both honors your experience and lends you a little buoyancy in this time? Because that’s what we want to do. We want to reach out and lift up.

    I read about your dream and I thought about the number 8 in spirituality. 8 is the number of reaping what you’ve sowed, and of balance, and it’s interesting, but not surprising, that your subconscious–your dreaming mind–has placed your husband in that place, and that you can’t get to it. You’re seeking balance in this time of trouble, and your subconscious sees your husband’s absence as a removal of your ability to balance. The injustice of his absence is a violation of your rightful harvest: he should be here, shouldn’t he?

    Yet the 8 is also a number of survival. The 8 is the number of a leader; of someone with drive, discipline, and control. It balances the material and the immaterial. It is the number of compassion, of manifestation of abundance, of truth, of realism: the good and the bad, and the ability to harvest from the bad as well as the good.

    And aren’t you doing that! Look at you. Amid your own heartbreak and struggle, you dig deep and share yourself with the heartbroken around you and around the world. And isn’t he the root of all of that? And there he is for you, on the 8th floor.

    The truth: You can’t go there yet. But you will. You have all the tools and he is rooting for you. Your balance is there and you will find it.

    Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; separation is physical and the physical is painful. But spiritual is eternal and in the spiritual, separation is an illusion.

    And a gentle suggestion: the next time that nurse says he’s on the 8th floor, you tell her she’s wrong. You go to the 10th floor–the number of Love and Light–and he will be there. Don’t let that nurse send you anywhere! She doesn’t know squat! Only the two of you know.

    Blessings on you and your family.

  2. Andrea Burbank

    October 22nd, 2016 at 1:00 am

    so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you and your daughter